Meatballs alla Vodka

I’ve never been to an Olive Garden. I only know about its offerings from what I’ve gathered from the ether:

• Large, imposing, never-ending breadsticks
• Some sort of cheese grater contraption that people try to steal (???)
• I assume they have chicken alfredo (I feel like I see a video of this dish at least weekly on TikTok)

The only Olive Garden in Manhattan is in Times Square. So unless I lose a fantasy football competition, I won’t be journeying over there anytime soon.

For my second episode of “if I opened” (a series where I create restaurant-like menus in my apartment for no apparent reason), I’m creating my ideal Olive Garden dining experience at home… or maybe just any Italian restaurant … or if I want to be really pretentious a ~gnoccheria~.

Gnocchi is my dad’s and my all-time favorite pasta. I remember the first time I had fresh gnocchi. Unfortunately, it was in the Amalfi Coast, Italy. The location isn’t the unfortunate part. I just really don’t like that I had to type out the sentence: “my first plate of fresh gnocchi was in the Amalfi Coast”. Ironic pretension aside, the gnocchi was transcendent. And I’m actually still thinking about that plate of black truffle-adorned, perfectly pillowy gnocchi ever since.

Gnocchi also happens to be the only fresh pasta I make at home and don’t become infuriated over. I actually enjoy the process. Why? Because I can crank! them! out! Most fresh pasta takes eons to produce with the rollers, boards, chitarra, etc. Whereas gnocchi dough comes together in minutes. I don’t bother with making the ridges because I have better things to do with my time. I’m perfectly satisfied with the true pillow look to my homemade gnocchi.

The real reason why I wanted to make homemade gnocchi was so that I could attempt a tri-color gnocchi presentation. Pesto, cacio e pepe, and vodka sauce all on the same plate. Is this realistic for a homecook? Absolutely not. Does it look incredible? 100%. I give all the separate recipes below which are much easier to execute individually. Props to you if you try to do all 3 simultaneously like I did (your kitchen will be a mess fyi).

For the other parts of my menu, I knew I wanted to have meatballs alla vodka as well. It’s the same sauce as the gnocchi alla vodka. But to make it easier, I like to bake my meatballs, which saves me the hassle of searing and simmering the meatballs.

And finally, garlic bread twists for my literal twist on a breadstick. Not much more to say about that. Don’t they look incredible?

Let me know what other restaurant menus I should attempt at home. I’m thinking bagel shop with homemade gravlax next?

Con amore,

Ryan