Everything Bagel Quiche

Here’s the deal: pie is the worst part of Thanksgiving. OOP! Worse than the family politics conversation (I actually always like that part, controversially). After just gorging myself on turkey, the richest potatoes humanly possible, slick gravy, butter-soaked sides, cranberry sauce that’s most definitely sugar in disguise, why on earth would I find myself enjoying eating a variety of pies. It makes no sense. My stomach is distended, my belt off, my shoes also off, sweat has beaded and is flooding my face, and I’m looking at my distraughtful plate of three pie slices that I somehow have to manage to eat/break through my blood-brain barrier and convince my subconscious to force the custard down.

So I’m finding myself in hindsight really enjoying the pie picnic apartment cafe concept I just threw. Where there’s no protein (sort of) and no savory sides, pies can have their deserved November moment.

I knew I wanted to do two pies this go-around. I usually do do two apartment cafe dishes; last month being a bit of a lapse because my creative energies were at a nadir. Pie gets me going though. There’s no end to what you can put in a pie crust. I’m a big quiche fan. And I made an everything bagel quiche a few years back for a Yom Kippur break fast that left something to be desired, so I wanted to give it a bit of a redemption arc. High-key I wanted to make an everything bagel quiche to give me an excuse to buy Russ & Daughters smoked salmon. My walk back from the store carrying my salmon was the greatest delight I had all month. The quiche filling IS ACTUALLY MY GREATEST INVENTION EVER. It was so silky. The trick: no cheese. Just cream, eggs, and buttermilk for balance. It was actually insane. I never need cheese in my quiche again. It was somehow refreshing and chilling. A thin layer of chive cream cheese spread on top, followed by the smoked salmon, and a variety of bagel toppings. Heaven.

My other pie I went much more traditional for the time of year, yet very much not traditional in form. A no-bake (besides the crust) pumpkin pie which achieves its stability and levity via lady fingers in the sense that it’s just a tiramisu. I picked up this pie and actually shocked myself in how light it was. Couldn’t have weighed over 1 pound. So skinny! My gripe with pumpkin pie is how it always cracks, always takes forever to bake. This tiramisu was actually so easy and such a lovely way to twist up a dessert course.

This is what everyone else brought:

• me: pumpkin tiramisu pie, everything bagel quiche
• Christine: apple tart with caramel ganache, pizza focaccia
• Erika: pull apart tri-pie
• Deepika Kalla-Paul: blueberry pistachio frangipane pie
• @arlynosborne: banoffee tart
• Zack: Japanese shrimp curry pie
• @lilypcrumbs: earl grey ganache pie, chocolate miso caramel pie

So there was definitely a mix of savory and sweet, which was nice until the shrimp curry pie started mixing with blueberry pie…. It’s ok Zack; your pie was delicious.

A special shout-out to my friend Alex (Lilypcrumbs) who transported not one, but two pies all the way from Philly to come to this apartment cafe. They took a little damage in the car but it’s nothing a group of 8 bakers couldn’t fix. And another shout-out to my friend Erika who still made and brought over her tri-pie even though she had a cold (she wore a mask, dropped off the pie, did her cameo in my video, and then left). I owe her a slice of quiche.

If you’re wondering if I felt gross after eating pie as an entire meal, surprisingly I didn’t. My very much non-scientific conclusion if pie is the true contributor to your Thanksgiving food coma is decidedly negative. My money is on the mashed potatoes and gravy.

For the love of pie, which definitely should be eaten outside of Thanksgiving,

Ryan